Sr. Advisor R, my mil, was a poster child for aging independently, unselfishly and well. She said, to the extent she could, she’d done everything; helped everyone; and given to those she wanted to give. She was ready to go. It was no secret. And I’ve been thinking–since her timely death last week at 101–about how she managed life so well.
R lived by the following:
1.Take care of yourself (or you won’t be able to take care of anything else).
2. Be responsible
3. Don’t abuse yourself. (You get enough from the outside)
4. Know when to say “no.”
5. Simplify (as you age)
--to view entire post please go to my other site
Showing posts with label age-related changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label age-related changes. Show all posts
Friday, June 26, 2015
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Tailoring the Holidays for Elders' Needs
Some aging parents are lifted by the excitement and activities of Christmas; for others there's overstimulation and stress. And at some point, for all aging parents, there's a slowing down. Do we notice this? Can/should we do something?
Indeed, the holidays can be tricky for some and need to be simplified, especially for those with Alzheimer's.
Then there are aging parents and elders we care about, who can't do what they used to because of aging-related conditions. I ran the preceding sentence by our Sr. Advisor, Dr. Bud, MD, (psychiatrist) asking for his thoughts.
Indeed, the holidays can be tricky for some and need to be simplified, especially for those with Alzheimer's.
Then there are aging parents and elders we care about, who can't do what they used to because of aging-related conditions. I ran the preceding sentence by our Sr. Advisor, Dr. Bud, MD, (psychiatrist) asking for his thoughts.
To view entire post, please go to my other site
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Aging--Macular Degeneration: A Determined 100-year-old's Efforts to Maintain Quality of Life
Sr. Advisor R has been called "amazing" for years by so many 40-60-year-olds, who call her "terrific" and "timeless." Past posts have underscored their respect for her wisdom and admiration for her ways of handling things. She's both an advisor to this bog, and my m-i-l. And currently she is facing another challenge: a big round spot blocking vision in one eye--macular degeneration.
To view entire post, please go to my other site.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Aging Parents and Us: Must Age, Health Decline, and Dependency go Hand in Hand?
Growing Older Doesn't Necessarily Mean Growing Old
We may question this assumption if we're in the midst of caring for aging parents with health issues. On the other hand, the results of research, published last month in the Journals of Gerontology, may be heartening for us if our parents are still relatively healthy and independent--and also heartening as we think about our years ahead.
To view the rest of this post please go to my other site.
We may question this assumption if we're in the midst of caring for aging parents with health issues. On the other hand, the results of research, published last month in the Journals of Gerontology, may be heartening for us if our parents are still relatively healthy and independent--and also heartening as we think about our years ahead.
To view the rest of this post please go to my other site.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Older Women's Thinning Hair, Instructive Links, and Styles for Women 60+
Ever feel like you're wearing 2 hats? One gaining information for yourself and one gaining information to help parents age well? From boomers to aging parents (mothers) the information in these first 3 links will be useful. Professionals explain probably all there is for a layperson to know about hair.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Older Women’s Hair Styles: Gray, Thinning~ Up Close and Personal with 6 Instructive Tips
In some ways we want to be like our mothers. In other ways we learn what not to do. Early on I resolved not to be a slave to my hair or a hairdresser.
In a previous post I mentioned fussing with hair seemed to be in women’s DNA, beginning as preteens. After college I stopped adding a beer rinse for extra volume; stopped doing my own hair. As a working educator with a paycheck, I had my hair done once a week (just like my mother did).
However, once living in NY for graduate school and subsequent counseling positions, I found regular hair appointments disruptive and the upkeep too time-consuming. (And every time I went west to visit my parents, mother was still fussing with her hair before going out....
In a previous post I mentioned fussing with hair seemed to be in women’s DNA, beginning as preteens. After college I stopped adding a beer rinse for extra volume; stopped doing my own hair. As a working educator with a paycheck, I had my hair done once a week (just like my mother did).
However, once living in NY for graduate school and subsequent counseling positions, I found regular hair appointments disruptive and the upkeep too time-consuming. (And every time I went west to visit my parents, mother was still fussing with her hair before going out....
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Aging Parents: The Value of Walking With Your Parents if You're Over 44
An October 10, 2010 Jane Brody column in the NY Times, http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/26/health/26brody.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=general continues to be timely as she discusses age-related changes. I was reminded of this column as I passed a former neighbor's home, where a garage sale was in progress.
I hadn't seen my former neighbor, Jane, since last fall, yet I had known her well and watched her children grow up. Her husband died prematurely and last fall she introduced me to an important man in her life, Pete. He was moving here, she said, to be with her.
She shared that Pete was an only child; didn't want to leave his mother out west. So although his mother was in her late 80's she too was moving here into a really nice apartment they had furnished for her, complete with her recently-shipped-out furniture.
I gently questioned about leaving friends, doctors, other supports behind and was told Pete's mother never went out, just sat home and watched TV, so it really didn't matter whether she was here or back home. It was the same TV, the same furniture, only now she could be near her son plus Jane. And they could both help her.
As I looked at the sale items neatly organized on the lawn and driveway I spotted a walker. Since another neighbor was a partner in this garage sale I asked "who's walker was that?"
"Oh, that was Pete's mother's, she died a few months ago."
"I remember she was coming out here," I said.
"Yes, she came, but it turned out she had a lot wrong with her that we never knew about," Jane offered. "She had congestive heart failure among other things. I guess I should have realized. During the years I've known her she stopped walking unless it was absolutely necessary. She used to go into the market with us to shop, but made excuses to stay in the car the last few years. And all she did was watch TV. I realized her figure changed--I guess from so much sitting--her waist, hips, legs got bigger from sitting around and the congestive heart failure, I guess." I offered my sympathy.
Jane Brody's column immediately came to mind. We learn that lifestyle choices we make from midlife on can influence the damage from age-related changes and impact our functioning in late life.
Then a book by Mark Lachs, director of geriatrics at the New York-Presbyterian Healthcare System becomes the focus. Dr. Lachs identifies two major influences (among others) that impact how well older people function and we learn that we start to deteriorate (my words) without realizing it at an early age.
Around age 30, for example, muscle strength begins its decline until we ultimately have muscle weakness. While this doesn't impact healthy people until they're 80-90, lifestyle choices, whether we make them at 50 or 90, can allow us to postpone that rate of decline.
Dr. Lach writes, for example, that if you begin walking daily at age 45, you could delay immobility to 90+. Conversely, immobility can impact a couch potato as early as 60.
Check out Jane Brody's column and check out Dr. Lach's book, Treat Me, Not My Age, (Viking) http://treatmenotmyage.com/. Think I'll give his book to a 45-year-old friend; it could also be a Father's Day gift.
Older people may prefer advice from a book or, as I've often, mentioned "from their doctor" more than from us adult children. If this book can help us and help our parents to age well--it's a win-win.
I hadn't seen my former neighbor, Jane, since last fall, yet I had known her well and watched her children grow up. Her husband died prematurely and last fall she introduced me to an important man in her life, Pete. He was moving here, she said, to be with her.
She shared that Pete was an only child; didn't want to leave his mother out west. So although his mother was in her late 80's she too was moving here into a really nice apartment they had furnished for her, complete with her recently-shipped-out furniture.
I gently questioned about leaving friends, doctors, other supports behind and was told Pete's mother never went out, just sat home and watched TV, so it really didn't matter whether she was here or back home. It was the same TV, the same furniture, only now she could be near her son plus Jane. And they could both help her.
As I looked at the sale items neatly organized on the lawn and driveway I spotted a walker. Since another neighbor was a partner in this garage sale I asked "who's walker was that?"
"Oh, that was Pete's mother's, she died a few months ago."
"I remember she was coming out here," I said.
"Yes, she came, but it turned out she had a lot wrong with her that we never knew about," Jane offered. "She had congestive heart failure among other things. I guess I should have realized. During the years I've known her she stopped walking unless it was absolutely necessary. She used to go into the market with us to shop, but made excuses to stay in the car the last few years. And all she did was watch TV. I realized her figure changed--I guess from so much sitting--her waist, hips, legs got bigger from sitting around and the congestive heart failure, I guess." I offered my sympathy.
Jane Brody's column immediately came to mind. We learn that lifestyle choices we make from midlife on can influence the damage from age-related changes and impact our functioning in late life.
Then a book by Mark Lachs, director of geriatrics at the New York-Presbyterian Healthcare System becomes the focus. Dr. Lachs identifies two major influences (among others) that impact how well older people function and we learn that we start to deteriorate (my words) without realizing it at an early age.
Around age 30, for example, muscle strength begins its decline until we ultimately have muscle weakness. While this doesn't impact healthy people until they're 80-90, lifestyle choices, whether we make them at 50 or 90, can allow us to postpone that rate of decline.
Dr. Lach writes, for example, that if you begin walking daily at age 45, you could delay immobility to 90+. Conversely, immobility can impact a couch potato as early as 60.
Check out Jane Brody's column and check out Dr. Lach's book, Treat Me, Not My Age, (Viking) http://treatmenotmyage.com/. Think I'll give his book to a 45-year-old friend; it could also be a Father's Day gift.
Older people may prefer advice from a book or, as I've often, mentioned "from their doctor" more than from us adult children. If this book can help us and help our parents to age well--it's a win-win.
Check out my other site: http://helpparentsagewell.com More information--see tabs.
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