Friday, August 31, 2012

Aging Parents and Arguments: Who Wins?

                                    Aging Parents Set in Their Ways

“Older people get set in their ways,” Dad told me that when I was a preteen. I don’t think I understood anything but the obvious.  I’m much older now; fortunately well-educated. Wiser. Due to many factors, I get it–with all its nuances….I think.

There’s something about attaining a certain age that makes some oldish people who still “have a good head on their shoulders” (perhaps more than “some“) exhibit problematic behavior. They become set in their ways–feeling some or all of the following: they’re entitled, they’ve earned the right to….
1….do nothing they don’t want to do
2….forget trying to be nice
3….have the courage of their conviction (right or wrong)
4….say whatever comes to mind without regard to its impact
5….expect more of us than is reasonable
6….change their mind on a whim

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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Generations Share Photos and Family History

Regardless of current relationships, families’ histories are rooted in their common past. It’s a powerful commonality emotionally, in a good way. Or at least it was for us, as six cousins–ages 50′s to late 80′s–gathered for lunch and photo-sharing.

A far-away living child, I hadn’t seen some cousins and 2nd cousins in years. Our parents/grandparents are gone now. They were the American story. Five surviving children of immigrant parents are pictured above (the eldest, born in England, is missing). When we came across this labeled photo, the feelings generated were indescribable. The girl born in S. Africa; the boy to her right born in Canada as the family made its way to the United States. Dad (left) and his younger brother (front) born in the USA.

We sifted through the photos and albums we brought, looking back a century–amazed to see our current selves in some of the faces. Some of us had only seen our grandmother with gray hair. We looked hard at her photo, into a youthful face that I, for one, would not have recognized had our older cousins not confirmed who it was.

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Sunday, August 19, 2012

Aging Parents: Photos Are More Than Links to Family

 Photos connect us– to each other, to our families, to our heritage, to our gene-pool. They remind us of our younger selves. They rekindle the ties and feelings we have for those who’ve gone before us….grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, those we held dear and those we hold dear. Indeed, we may have inherited some of their features, some of their traits. On the other hand, some in the photo album are unnamed. We wonder who they are.

These feelings enveloped me the other day as I began cleaning out my parents’ home of 60+ years. They were accompanied by feelings of frustration as I struggled to recognize people in photos that lacked both name and date. Then it dawned on me....... view entire post please go to my other site:

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Help Aging Parents: Grandchildren--Priceless?

On one occasion my niece was dancing around like little girls do when Mrs. M. (age 100) rose from her chair, grabbed my niece’s little hands and started dancing with her–that is until she began to lose her balance. Only by the grace of God did a male friend, standing near, steady Mrs. M. and help her sit down. Mrs. M’s remark, while showing a bit of embarrassment, was something like “Watching her I forgot my age and felt like a girl again.”

To view entire post go to:…dren-priceless/

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Aging Parents vs. Vacation Plans continued from yesterday

What did I learn? Planning ahead for emergency situations is just plain sensible. When stress is high it's comforting to know we don't have to worry about certain things and we do have some control over others. When coming a distance, having someone who cares and shares our concerns there to meet us is welcoming and supportive. And keeping essential information at hand makes communication with professionals more effective and efficient. Last but not least, when the unexpected happens and we can't do it alone, I NEED YOUR HELP are important words to remember.

I also learned we have good friends who we had to suddenly abandon in Italy. They survived and so has our friendship.

To view this post in its entirety, please visit my other site:…from-yesterday/ ‎

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Aging Parents vs. Vacations

August: last chance for vacations.  Dilemma: Vacation or "Ify" Aging Parents? When  parents' health is "ify," do we risk going? If they're going to miss us, do we risk going? If our replacement isn't as skilled, knowledgeable, or caring as we, do we risk going?

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Saturday, August 4, 2012

Aging Parents: Hairstyles for Older, Old, Elderly Women (50+, 60++)

60 once seemed old. No longer! Truthfully, 50 once seemed old.

So how can we go wrong having this information, using it for ourselves and for our mothers, if they're willing to risk trying a new hairstyle? Actually the styles shown for 60-year-olds could be the updated look (check out Helen Mirren) of your mother's current hairstyle.

Look good, feel better--looking good feeling better--helps parents age well.

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