Monday, May 16, 2016

Caregiving and Time for Self

  • One reality is that we can't stretch a 24-hour day.
  • A second reality is that--and we all know this, but easier said than done, those entrusted with caregiving must take care of themselves.
  • A third reality: it's hard not to push ourselves....just this one time or just a little bit more...but it's not good for us if it must continue over an extended period.
  • And the last reality--at least for me--is that my time for keeping up with my blog remains in short supply for the time being.
Having set mental markers in my head to warn me of when my ability to remain helpful to anyone, even myself, is at risk--I have asked for help several times since my husband's surgery to replace his aorta and mitral valves on February 4. 

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Sunday, May 1, 2016

Aging Mothers: "Thriving at Age 70 and Beyond"--Jane Brody's 4/26/16 Column is Timely for Mother's Day and for Us

With Mother's Day just a week away, the Well column in Tuesday's NY Times, Thriving at Age 70 and Beyond, is timely and worthwhile....

Reading Jane Brody's Thriving at Age 70 and Beyond gives us insights into mothers and grandmothers--and even ourselves; and for creative adult children, it could spark ideas for Mother's Day gifts.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Help Aging Parents--Post Written, but Vanished--Caregiver Stress?

What a surprise to awaken this morning and find yesterday's I-thought-published post missing---gone, nowhere to be found. Help! Aging Parents' goal is to share the best information and some creative ideas to help the elders we care about age as well as possible. With my husband's recent heart valve surgery, I've been more focused on helpful caregiving ideas and yesterday decided to offer some personal reflections. For the first time in the history of this blog, they vanished.

I had written about stress--our cancelled plans to fly this past Tuesday to warm weather and sign the closing papers for the sale of my husband's mother's home. Doctors gave the necessary permission two weeks ago, following my husband's heart valve surgery in February. But all changed at the end of last week when the new mitral valve developed a hole.



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Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Aging Parents: Medical and Dental Procedures--When More May Be Too Much

If our parents live long enough, there will no doubt be times when we are--or will be--hesitant to have them experience more misery and/or pain due to unpleasant procedures. But it happens. And if we/they are responsible, the memories can fill us with later regret: the wish-we/they-had-done-differently kind of memories.

To begin, it helps to remember we aren't perfect. Most of us are lay people. We act out of love, concern, caring and compassion or what people we respect suggest. That's emotion or instinct. Even when presented with facts and solid information we can make misjudgments...as can older people.

In the case of both my parents, there are things I wish had been different. Sr. Advisor R, my m-i-l, said several times there were things she wished she had done differently. For Leo, well-researched "more" worked. For my Uncle Harry, possibly not understanding long-term implications led to an earlier death.


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Monday, April 18, 2016

Passover and Easter 2016: Thoughtful Ideas and Gifts for Aging Parents/Elders

IMG_2981          2016  
                                         Easter March 27
                                     Passover: April 22-30

Ideas for adding pleasure to the lives of Aging Parents and the Elders We Love
Small bunnies add whimsey to spring baskets. Wouldn't they bring joy to aging parents or to seniors in a care facility?
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Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Fun for Aging Parents--Watch the Baby Bald Eagles Live in Wash. DC

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Eagles (eaglets) have hatched high up in a tree at the US Arboretum in Washington DC. 

 Watching live streaming, courtesy of the Arboretum and American Eagle Foundation (the latter supplied photo here) is captivating--wonderful entertainment for all ages, but think about the stimulation for older people!

And then think about those who are homebound or in care facilities. Take a laptop, notebook, iPad (a cellphone's screen may be a bit small for aging eyes) to aging parents or elderly friends if they don't have one. If they do have one, email the link below or add the link for them.

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Thursday, March 24, 2016

Help Aging Parents: Caregiving--A Caregiver's Story

As parents age, concerns about heavy-duty caregiving are common. The NY Times published a powerful piece in early March. Elizabeth's experience as told to NY Times science/geriatrics-writer/columnist, Paula Span, will resonate with many caregivers, Alzheimer's caregivers or not.

            Living with the parents I'm losing to Alzheimer's:
two excerpts--

     One night recently my dad was so confused, up so many times, and I was exhausted and full of frustration and anger and overwhelming grief. I just went in there and cried in his arms, begging him, “Please, go back to sleep.” He didn’t understand, but he was holding me and crying, too, and saying, “I’m so sorry. I’ll do better. I’ll do better.”


To view entire post please visit my other site