Help! Aging Parents: Making Aging Parents Happy: How An Adult Child's Good Friend Helps and Why

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Making Aging Parents Happy: How An Adult Child's Good Friend Helps and Why

A good friend calls with thanks for our New Year's Eve Dinner Party. Being together was great. We talk about our plans for the day and rest of the week. My friend is playing bridge today and Friday.

"Are you playing with your friend's elderly mother today?" I ask. "Not today, but I'll be playing with them Friday. You know, her mother's 90, doesn't hear well--really doesn't hear well and a lot of our group doesn't want to play with her because of that-- but she's a good bridge player.

I was appreciative of anything that made my mother happy (she died at 94) and if I can do this for Marcia, I'm happy to. Playing bridge gives Marcia's mother something to look forward to and gets her out of her house....."

to view the rest of this post please visit my other site at WordPress.com

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Hi, I'm Susan~

--Wife, teacher, counselor, author, and a far-away-living adult child for decades.

I came from the West to NY for the graduate program in counseling at Teachers College, Columbia U, and have stayed and worked in NY throughout my adult life.

Although far from family, I always knew I would "be there" if my parents needed me. Mother died just short of her 88th birthday; Dad died at 94, and most recently my-i-l, Sr. Advisor R--who lived alone (no caregivers) in her own home--died in June 2015 at 101.

Helping others comes naturally.

As a teenager I was a “Dear Abby” to my friends; later–as a teacher–an untrained counselor to my students. Graduate work and my counseling degree led to a career I’ve loved: counseling high school students and their families. This included–as divorce rates rose in the ’80’s–writing Helping Children of Divorce: a Handbook for Parents and Teachers, published by Schocken Books.

Help! Aging Parents is an extension of my ongoing desire to use my professional training and experience to help others.

About This Blog

Helping parents age well sounds so basic, but it doesn't happen automatically. While we train for the important parts of our lives (childbirth, driving, SATs, jobs), helping parents age well throughout the life cycle is usually on-the-job training--after a health event necessitates fast-forward learning.

Help! Aging Parents is committed to sharing the best information, professional advice, personal experiences and creative ideas to help parents and grandparents age as independently and well as possible until the very end.

* * *

As my parents aged I became aware of a sharp contrast: the ever-present enormous physical and emotional energy of my teenage counselees struggling to develop confidence, assert independence, increase relationships and have fun, while my parents' generation was trying desperately to hold onto these aspects of living.

This led to a disturbing realization: we conscientiously encourage and support younger people who have a full life ahead but--often unwittingly-- diminish and devalue older people. The implications: Younger people feel good about their ability to move forward, while older people can feel "what's the use, I'm old" leading to problems for them and for their children.

This is where we can--and do-- make a difference.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Making Aging Parents Happy: How An Adult Child's Good Friend Helps and Why

No comments:

Post a Comment

Archive of Old Posts

Contact