Aging Parents: Medical and Dental Procedures--When More May Be Too Much

If our parents live long enough, there will no doubt be times when we are--or will be--hesitant to have them experience more misery and/or pain due to unpleasant procedures. But it happens. And if we/they are responsible, the memories can fill us with later regret: the wish-we/they-had-done-differently kind of memories.

To begin, it helps to remember we aren't perfect. Most of us are lay people. We act out of love, concern, caring and compassion or what people we respect suggest. That's emotion or instinct. Even when presented with facts and solid information we can make misjudgments...as can older people.

In the case of both my parents, there are things I wish had been different. Sr. Advisor R, my m-i-l, said several times there were things she wished she had done differently. For Leo, well-researched "more" worked. For my Uncle Harry, possibly not understanding long-term implications led to an earlier death.

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