Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Tuesday's Post Delayed Until Tomorrow 9/28/11

A 97-year-old, dear friend died this weekend. Far-away-living children stayed with us as a result which was good for all of us.  Tomorrow I think I will address the question: Does Helping Parents Age Well, Include Helping Them Die Well? Until then......

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Aging Parents: Slowing Down? Struggling to Keep Up?

“Older people don’t want to be rushed”
(by their children or anyone else)
We heard it in last Saturday's post, from an organized, "with-it," 98-year-old parent who values maintaining control. So we aren’t clueless. But it’s a “heads up.” When doing things with older parents–even with parents who live orderly, organized lives–we need to allow extra time so we don’t need to rush, subjecting ourselves–and them–to more pressure than already exists.
See entire post on my other site:

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Staying Connected. Remaining Engaged. Relevant Video for Aging Parents and Us

Reading about the importance of connections and being engaged is one thing. Watching and listening to this 101-year-old woman, makes the case in a real way--instructive for helping parents age well (and instructive for us too).

Please go to my other site:

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Aging Parents: Slowing Down? Struggling to Keep Up? Rigid?

We notice parents slowing down.
They take more time to do things.
Does their snail’s pace drive us crazy? Do we make them crazy if we try to rush them?

In a fast-paced world of multi-taskers, aging parents can seem out of step–literally. At a certain point we realize they walk slower, drive slower, think slower, ponder longer. Some who were formerly quick decision-makers may seemingly take an eternity to make a decision. It simply takes longer for them to get things done.

To be continued tomorrow……on my other site:

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A Truly Inspirational 98-year-old’s Birthday and Wisdom

The best example of aging well: a model (and mentor)
for adult children

Please visit my other site: 
for this post

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Why Aging Parents Who Work Should Use Computers

Heads up if you work in your older parents’ business and they depend on you for all things computer

As readers know we are renovating an apartment with a building-imposed renovation deadline of September 16th–less than 2 weeks away. Our highly regarded,  renovation company may not meet it. True, there have been unforeseen problems that caught everyone off guard, yet the major problems could have been quickly and capably handled if the older generation (founders of the company, still working with their technologically capable boomer sons) instinctively thought “computers” instead of writing in longhand.
I’ve posted about 60-year-olds who cavalierly say they don’t use a computer and don’t plan to–that their children do anything that involves a computer for them.  If we raised our children doing for them instead of teaching them to do for themselves, wouldn’t we–in effect–be crippling them?
These older dads are so accustomed to depending on their sons for anything involving a computer, that they’re oblivious to the wasted time and significant errors they themselves generate.
  • Think: handwriting selections and sizes for cabinets knobs, handles, colors, tile selection etc. etc. which then get lost or misread and need to be redone–again in longhand.
  • Think about needing to make changes in a kitchen plan, then needing to phone to get information for Fed-Exing those plans because the aging parents don’t realize that plans can be technologically reduced and emailed or faxed almost instantaneously. One man who can email (when he remembers to check his emails) says he’ll take a just-reworked plan home to his wife, who he thinks can reduce and email it.
  • And finally (no, not really, but I don’t want to bore anyone with too many examples) what about the oven unit where specific dimensions from floor to top of bottom oven and to top of upper oven are emailed….. and the top oven comes with the opening too high up to reach? The older dad must have forgotten to forward my email, with specific oven dimensions to the cabinet company.
Why? Because this older man–not a bad person, in fact a very nice person–has never made technology use part of his daily life. I think he relies on his memory (probably more accurate in the old days) and forgets there’s something in writing awaiting him on his computer (which probably no one has ever organized for him).
My followers know I have great empathy for older people/aging parents. And I’m not really certain it’s the fault of mentally able aging parents if they haven’t progressed technologically.  If their children do it for them, why should parents bother to learn?  (If we did things for our children how could they have learned?)
The two founders of the company are guiding the work on our apartment. One has no computer knowledge; the other, mentioned earlier, has a computer he is rarely disciplined about using.  Clearly these men think they’re doing their best but in today’s world they can’t deliver as quickly or as accurately. Sadly their Boomer sons aren’t helping.
To help parents age well, we need to equip them for this century if we want to help them remain “in the game.”  It’s even more important if they are in business and rely on us (adult children) to do the technological part. Helpful as that may seem, it doesn’t help; it cripples.
It’s sad to see fine older men needing to apologize, scrambling to come up with quick fixes, and laughingly saying these problems are “giving them a heart attack.” Indeed most of the problems could have been avoided if–from the start–they were comfortable using a computer. In the next post we’ll address: teaching older adults how to use a computer.