HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

What is it that's so endearing about seeing an old couple holding hands, walking arm in arm, smiling at each other in that certain way?

Is it what each one of us hopes for when we hit the old age mark?

My oldest guest, my friend's mother in her 90's shared: "I may be old, but Inside I feel like I did when I was an 18-year-old (pause) with all the same desires too."

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Aging Parents: Control and Respect--Do We Inadvertently Mess Up at Thanksgiving (and other times)?

                                        You may have received the Thanksgiving forward below--or not...

In any case, I share it. Supposedly it's from a grandmother. Disregarding its length and the possibility that a non-grandmother created it, it conveys an important message--irreverently highlighting elders' values--exaggerating basic, irksome things younger people, whether adult children or beloved grandchildren, do. Even if we don't get caught up in the specifics or the humor, the need for elders to have control and respect comes through loud and clear.

I've become even more keenly aware recently. For Senior Advisor R, now 101, life has become hard work. There may be no other 101-year-old in this country who still lives alone in her own home of 65+ years, getting regular help only 4 hours a week from a cleaning person. Admittedly neighbors on both sides and across the street discretely watch out for her 24/7. I've written about this previously. They treasure her.

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Aging Mothers: A Life Changer….overheard in the Hair Salon

Sr. Advisor D

Meet D, our newest Sr. Advisor.  A former colleague and long-time friend, D has offered us aging insights for several years. Below she writes about a recent experience at her long-time "hair salon," aka "hairdresser's," "beauty salon." 

Regardless of name, it's a place women go ostensibly to look better. But it's much more than that for many older women. It's socialization, getting out of the house, therapy of sorts. Indeed it's one of the few patterns of younger days that can easily continue well into old age.

Where else can an older person relax and count on being listened to, being pampered, being treated well? The hair salon's supportive atmosphere lends itself to sharing thoughts and feelings.  D takes it from here--

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HALLOWEEN TREATS FOR AGING PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS, COUCH POTATOES and THOSE IN CARE FACILITIES

 Holidays provide opportunities we can take advantage of-- to jump-start aging parents and add some joy to their lives.

 .....I remember my parents coming back to visit in late October one year. They were in their ’70′s. Halloween night stands out, with the excitement that each ring of the doorbell created for these active seniors. With that in mind, I share ideas for involving aging parents in the Halloween fun.

 Invite aging parents to your home to marvel at the trick-or-treaters’ costumes.

Dad loved answering the door bell’s ring–then seeing the little kids in costume. Their high pitched’ “trick or treat” elicited his compliments about their scary look, great costume etc. They beamed at the compliments as they took their candy. Dad beamed back.  Mother, in the background, seemed happy to replenish the candy supply. She too had a big smile on her face as she watched these excited little kids having such a good time.

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AGING PARENTS: PRELUDE TO HALLOWEEN

.............My elderly friend loved them and remembered they would last, no doubt until Halloween. Her caregiver kept telling me how much he loved helping and spent a while taking pictures with his cell phone. Bottom line: It's always rewarding to do something that makes an older person happy. This was a win, win, win-- for my elderly friend, her caregiver, and me.

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VELCRO-part 2: ENHANCING SHOES FOR AGING PARENTS

Not all shoe styles with Velcro are suitable for old people. Yet some styles fulfill a need. Think: one foot wider than the other; arthritic or old fingers that make tying laces and manipulating buckles difficult.

As people age, feet can widen and/or develop bunions, hammer toes or other problems that cause one foot to fit better in another size--or width--shoe. This is where Velcro comes to the rescue.

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SENIOR GAMES: FUN AND STIMULATION FOR OLDER PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS

On July 8th I wrote about a new game, Road Tour, that researchers find restores cognitive processing speed and improves field of vision. Peripheral vision evidently shrinks as people age and affects safe driving. Here are details, plus a video, from the UK's Daily Mail on-line: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2317955/New-game-make-brain-years-younger-hours-effects-lasting-year.

Three months later (9/4/13) several publications inform us that the scientific magazine, Nature, is publishing findings that cognitive scientists say: "are a significant development in understanding how to strengthen old brains." (NY Times 9/4/13) plus a snippet: "Cognitive scientists have found that a simple game that forced players to juggle two different tasks, helped players improve the short-term memory and long-term focus of older adults. Researchers said those as old as  80 began to show neurological patterns of people in their 20s." (NY Times 9/9/13.)

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Aging and Teeth

 Dad valued his teeth; took good care of them. You can imagine my surprise decades later when Dad's tooth broke while he was sitting in his favorite chair watching TV. No theatrics--it just broke. He was in his 90's, wasn't eating anything at the time. The tooth just--unexpectedly--"broke off."


This event replayed itself recently. It happened to another old person. She also took good care of her teeth, was a conscientious dentist-goer and had all her own teeth in her 90's.....


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Aging Parents and Travel: Advice from a 99-year-old Who Plans One More Trip

TRAVEL: Any vacation that requires little more than a short car ride to a familiar place involves more organization, thought and energy than it did pre-911 in the US. Understandably this can be daunting to old and older travelers when airport navigation and unfamiliar territory are involved, not to mention stress for anyone accompanying an older individual.

Sr. Advisor R, who--at age 98-- flew alone cross-country to visit us last year, just said she had one more trip in her (she will be 100 in September); so I asked if she'd share her thoughts about travel and how she does it.

To begin we need to keep in mind:

1. "Energy level changes. My renewed energy doesn't renew as it used to...maybe because I don't sleep as well. You have to think about everything--it isn't that one doesn't want to travel but you're not as confident when you're old. That's what age is. For old people it's not the world we knew....we don't know what to depend on."

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