Aging Parents: 101-Year-Old, 4 Years After Broken Hip Surgery, Still Mobile and Living Alone–1

Four years ago this month R left the rehab center after spending 4 months there. Today, at 101, R is completely mobile. She now walks with a cane when she goes out (which she didn’t do before she broke her femur). She uses her cane at home when she “feels unsure.”

What has changed since R’s surgery?

To view entire post please go to my other site.

Help Parents Age Well and in Place: Old Bathrooms. Old Parents. New Shower Fittings for a 97-year-old Woman

Having a small bathroom and small shower made this "update" simple, but "expensive--around $1,000"--according to R. Moving to assisted or independent living would have been quite expensive. Much more money for much less space. Plus, she'd be leaving a home and neighbors that have been--and are--an important part of her life.

As long as R's mind continues to be good, she will call the shots (and enjoy her refurbished shower). To do otherwise would be to undermine all that she has done to remain independent. As we try to help parents age well, we stop and ask ourselves: Is it easier/better for us or easier or better for them?"

To view entire post please go to my other site www://helpparentsagewell.com

Broken Hip: 97-year-old's Fall, Surgery, Rehab, Amazing Recovery--Part 1 (of 4)

97-year-old Recovers and Regains Independence After Fall and Broken Hip--Part 1

Finally, I'm back. Getting wireless internet connection while out here with R, as she prepares to leave rehab, took longer than expected.  That said, a recap of R's experience will, I hope, provide a frame of reference for those going through this not-for-sissies/prima-donnas experience.

For everyone fearful of...caring for...or recovering from...a broken hip,  Help! Aging Parents will chronicle Senior Advisor R's fall, her "rescuers," surgical consideration, rehab highlights and insights, and lastly her preparation for returning home.  Ultimately she will be aided by an alarm wrist bracelet, a cane, and a walker with a basket for carrying things (the rehab therapist says she only needs additional support when things must be carried from place to place). No caregivers.

Part 1: The Fall, the Rescuers (911 and doctors)

What follows may repeat snip-its from earlier posts.  But the chronology and additional information make it hang together better.  R. didn't have an alert pendant.  In late September she was walking from her bedroom to the kitchen when she noticed her twice-a-month cleaning help had moved something on the desk she was passing.  She reached over to reposition it, realized she was losing balance, grabbed the nearest chair, but it wasn't heavy enough to support her weight, and they both fell on the carpet.

R. remembers she grabbed at a table leg thinking she'd pull herself up; she couldn't. One side of her body would not move. She knew immediately she couldn't get up. That ad, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up," for the first time--resonated, R said.

The next 3 hours were spent inching her way back towards the bedroom, to a telephone.  She rolled over on her stomach and with her arms in front "kinda pulled her knees and body along." Her knees sustained carpet burns, one of which is still not completely healed.

The phone, on a table, was too far to reach from the floor, but there was a waste basket nearby.  R grabbed it, was able to reach up and, after repeated attempts, knocked the phone out of the cradle.  "Very hard work," she says.  She phoned a nephew, who drove to her home, called the doctor, got the answering service, who told him to call 911.

The paramedics came immediately. First 2, then more to make certain her condition was stable then to place her on the gurney and transport her to the hospital designated by her primary care doctor (who by this time had been contacted).

Now in the "right" hospital, the next step was the "right" surgeon, for this 97-year-old, with a broken femur. R's primary care doctor was insistent on one particular orthopedic surgeon who had "technical excellence" and "good hands."  Why?  "Surgery is a trauma to the body. It is not tolerated as well in the elderly as in the young," according to R's highly regarded doctor.  "It's important to get in, get out, do a quick job with less anesthesia, less blood loss, less time in the operating room.  That means less trauma."

Clearly these early steps cleared the way for R's ultimate excellent recovery and gave us far-away-living children (one of us was out here almost all the time) confidence that--in terms of helping parents age well--we were on the right track. To be continued...


Also visit my new site: http://helpparentsagewell.com

Aging Parent, Broken Hip, Schedules Interrupted

Flexibility when an aging parent's health event interrupts their children's lives--important.  We know. We also know there are only 24 hours in a day.  Squeezing things in and omitting and prioritizing take on new importance. This is my life at the moment.

I flew out to be with senior advisor R, my 97-year-old mother-in law, who has just spent day 45 in rehab.  "They" (whoever that is) say it takes 90 days before older people's hips have healed /mended or whatever enough to be able to put weight on the hip.  That means 45 more days at the rehab center and R is crossing off each one.

The physical therapy is excellent, which is the reason we selected this place. It is convenient to her home, several thousand miles from ours, but not from where we stay when we're here.  However, we must drive over an hour daily--which is the reason I just came out again.  My only-child husband has been doing that daily drive for three weeks (flying home  2 weekends); I can give him some time off.

And so I'm on my way to the rehab center--with a stop at the local library to post this.  This article, in Wednesday's NY Times, A Woman's Journey From an Artist's Barn To a Mansion's Wall          http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/10/nyregion/10cityroom.html is an interesting, enjoyable read that I want to share with you.  It features a woman of privilege and wealth and a centenarian of neither privilege nor wealth from what I gather, whose 64-year-old daughter (with whom she lives) accompanied her on an unusual trip back in time.

I wonder if living with her daughter (who possibly never married since she uses her mother's last name which is, of course, her "maiden" name) contributed to her reaching 100 years of age and seemingly aging so well.

Do go to my new site--  http://helpparentsagewell.com--same posts, but more information and carefully selected (by me) resources.

Aging Parents: Fall Prevention-- Alert Pendant/Bracelet

Why isn't this relatively inexpensive, old technology as important to older people indoors, as an umbrella is to them outdoors when it rains?

It needn't be worn continuously--as explained in my October 10th post, but can be left near the door so that when a living-alone senior enters his or her homeit's right there; and when the senior goes out, it's left right there.

Since the statistics--that people over 65 are at greater risk of falling and the risk increases with age--are widely known….

1. Is it that older people who are fit don't think they risk of falling in their homes?
2. Do they assume if they've taken or take tai chi and/or other fall prevention classes they are exempt?
3. Do they fear paramedics will break down the door to rescue them, thus causing damage to their home?
4. Is it the expense?

There are undoubtedly countless reasons older people reject a piece of "alert" jewelry.

To set the record straight:

1. Most people fall in their homes.  Denial may be at work.
2. Fall prevention classes have clearly been shown to reduce the risk; but that doesn't mean falls don't happen.
3. The alert monitoring companies give instructions for lock boxes or other ways to make keys available so paramedics can unlock, not break down, the door.
4. There is an expense, but weigh the expense vs. parental emotional as well as physical pain, suffering, and adult children's time, energy, and stress.

Fear of falling is one of older people's most prevalent fears.  Falling and breaking a hip spells trouble: a long recovery and initially--if not forever--greatly diminished independence. (No need to spell out how this impacts caring adult children's lives.)

Falling alone in one's home means needing to painfully, slowly crawl to the telephone--usually high up off the floor and thus a challenge to pull down even when one finally reaches the phone's location.

If a hip is not initially broken, but has suffered only a hairline crack, what are the odds the hip will suffer a complete break due to crawling?

We try to help our parents age well. Wearing an "alert" pendant or bracelet can clearly help maintain quality of life.  It's an invaluable gift and hopefully a thoughtful discussion will convince parents of its value.  (I'll try to compile a list of well-thought-of companies, whose alert pendants older people like, for a post next week.)

Also check out my new site" http://helpparentsagewell.com. Same post plus informative tabs and pull-down menu.

Aging Parents; Fall; Broken Hip; Care Center

Independence vs. Broken Hip

We try to help parents age well and we're aware of the statistics. After 65 the chances of a fall increase; ditto the damage which  increases as people's bones become more  brittle. Down the line we realize that many people age, and suddenly look more fragile.

So I write yesterday's planned post today, from a rehab center where my 97-year-old mother-in-law and a senior advisor, R, is recovering after falling 10 days ago in her home and having surgery to put a pin in her hip.

R., (on my new site click on the "senior advisor" tab) like many older people fortunate to have (as she calls it) "a good brain," values her independence above all. She took precautions to prevent falling in her home and has never hesitated to gracefully ask for help (your arm) when she feels unsteady.  She never dreamed she would fall in her home and thus, rejected the idea of a pendant that would alert someone she needed help.

The result: she fell in her living room, while walking to the kitchen, having noticed a decorative object on a desk had been moved by her every-other-week cleaning person.  She reached over to move it, lost her balance, and grabbed a nearby chair.  But it wasn't heavy enough to hold her upright. Both fell on the carpet. The next three hours were spent crawling on the carpet to her bedroom and a telephone; she called a nephew; he called 911, then came to her home.

I share R's experience to help aging parents and other older people who live alone and resist bracelets or necklaces with those pendants. While they won't prevent falls, they do prevent skinned knees with carpet burns, and pain and possible further damage from crawling to a telephone.   And they don't need to be worn all the time.

Indeed, a woman in her mid-80's who shares an apartment with her son in the northeast, only wears the bracelet when she enters her Florida apartment--where she live alone in the winter.  She says she leaves the bracelet near the door and puts it on the minute she enters that apartment.

While we do our best to help our aging parents, the odds can catch up with even the most smart, independent and remarkable seniors....evident from the older people with broken hips in this rehab center.  We can only try to reduce the damage. Perhaps R's experience can provide an opening for discussion with older parents who live alone without one of those pendants.

Also go to my new site:http://helpparentsagewell.com.  Same blog, more "bells and whistles."