Help! Aging Parents: supporting independence

Showing posts with label supporting independence. Show all posts

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Do Fears for Aging Parents' Well-Being Unnecessarily Curtail Their Independence?

Of course the answer is "yes" and "no." But looking at a few examples can give up a "heads-up" so we aren't premature in our actions.

To view entire post, please go to my other site

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Help Parents Age Well and in Place: Old Bathrooms. Old Parents. New Shower Fittings for a 97-year-old Woman

Having a small bathroom and small shower made this "update" simple, but "expensive--around $1,000"--according to R. Moving to assisted or independent living would have been quite expensive. Much more money for much less space. Plus, she'd be leaving a home and neighbors that have been--and are--an important part of her life.

As long as R's mind continues to be good, she will call the shots (and enjoy her refurbished shower). To do otherwise would be to undermine all that she has done to remain independent. As we try to help parents age well, we stop and ask ourselves: Is it easier/better for us or easier or better for them?"

To view entire post please go to my other site www://helpparentsagewell.com

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Hi, I'm Susan~

--Wife, teacher, counselor, author, and a far-away-living adult child for decades.

I came from the West to NY for the graduate program in counseling at Teachers College, Columbia U, and have stayed and worked in NY throughout my adult life.

Although far from family, I always knew I would "be there" if my parents needed me. Mother died just short of her 88th birthday; Dad died at 94, and most recently my-i-l, Sr. Advisor R--who lived alone (no caregivers) in her own home--died in June 2015 at 101.

Helping others comes naturally.

As a teenager I was a “Dear Abby” to my friends; later–as a teacher–an untrained counselor to my students. Graduate work and my counseling degree led to a career I’ve loved: counseling high school students and their families. This included–as divorce rates rose in the ’80’s–writing Helping Children of Divorce: a Handbook for Parents and Teachers, published by Schocken Books.

Help! Aging Parents is an extension of my ongoing desire to use my professional training and experience to help others.

About This Blog

Helping parents age well sounds so basic, but it doesn't happen automatically. While we train for the important parts of our lives (childbirth, driving, SATs, jobs), helping parents age well throughout the life cycle is usually on-the-job training--after a health event necessitates fast-forward learning.

Help! Aging Parents is committed to sharing the best information, professional advice, personal experiences and creative ideas to help parents and grandparents age as independently and well as possible until the very end.

* * *

As my parents aged I became aware of a sharp contrast: the ever-present enormous physical and emotional energy of my teenage counselees struggling to develop confidence, assert independence, increase relationships and have fun, while my parents' generation was trying desperately to hold onto these aspects of living.

This led to a disturbing realization: we conscientiously encourage and support younger people who have a full life ahead but--often unwittingly-- diminish and devalue older people. The implications: Younger people feel good about their ability to move forward, while older people can feel "what's the use, I'm old" leading to problems for them and for their children.

This is where we can--and do-- make a difference.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Do Fears for Aging Parents' Well-Being Unnecessarily Curtail Their Independence?

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Help Parents Age Well and in Place: Old Bathrooms. Old Parents. New Shower Fittings for a 97-year-old Woman

Archive of Old Posts

Contact