Dreaded Discussions become Conversations

...with 4 simple words

Tough talks. Dreaded discussions. Difficult conversations–often about issues involving two generations’ differing realities. Parents are good drivers.(?) Parents’ homes are still suitable.(?) Parents’ hygiene is fine.(?) The list goes on. To help parents age well, what is the reality?  

Do they need our help? or Do we need their help? 

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Aging Parents: Good Therapy’s “2014 10 Top Websites for Aging” honor–plus A Discussion of Differing Realities/Avoiding Arguments

Help! Aging Parents was honored in late December–selected as one of Good Therapy’s 2014 “Top 10 Websites for Aging,” they write:

As a self-proclaimed “serious, well-educated cheerleader for helping parents age well,” this blog shares information and insight about issues that affect geriatric parents and their adult children. Susan, the sole author, often tackles everyday issues that seem banal but can become problematic in old age, like swallowing medication or planning dinner events. She writes with humor and candor, and cites input from professionals as well as her “senior” advisers.

As we end the first month of 2015, much of the US is cold and elders understandably remain indoors. If we don’t live with them and are conscientious, we visit as often as possible. An issue that’s definitely “banal” (“ordinary or commonplace”) is the high temperatures at which elders set their thermostats to stay warm. It’s problematic when it’s suffocatingly warm in their home for us, but not for them.

To view entire post please go to my other site.

Aging Parents, You, and Doctors Who Don’t Take Medicare

Some doctors don’t “take’ Medicare. They have chosen to be excluded from the Medicare Program participation. Nevertheless, if your parents have Medicare coverage, they are entitled to reimbursement from Medicare regardless of doctor’s Medicare affiliation. It just entails a bit more work from you/your parents..

Helping parents age well clearly includes their healthcare. And no doubt a large percentage of parents have Medicare coverage, using doctors who “take’ Medicare and do the paperwork so Medicare can reimburse. And this works pretty well.

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The Importance of Memories for Elders and Aging Parents

“Time takes all but memories,” an inscription on a sundial that inspired a memorable sermon. That inspired my post last year, with suggestions for helping aging parents to do things they’ll remember. Following up on that inscription and that post–

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Choosing the Best Walker–101-year-old, Aging in Place: Mobility Continues 4 years After Broken Hip Surgery

The right "tools" makes everything easier--for any situation actually. (Learned this in a "Home Repair" course; found it a truism.) It's not rocket science that an easy-to-use, dependable walker is the right "tool" to continue mobility and an active life.

But do we realize that the first walker purchased may not be the ultimate walker? Here's why--

1. We often select quickly (possibly the one used in rehab).
2. We often select the least expensive.
3. Subsequent factors, like balance and aging parent stability may lead to buying a sturdier walker.

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101-year-old: The Right Cane–Mobility and Aging in Place–4 years after Broken Hip Surgery 1

 The Right Cane

Because of R's strong desire to remain in her home of over 65 years and live independently, alone--she may have put more thought into cane selection than many. The cane she eventually purchased, she first used in rehab. While she used many canes in rehab, this one felt best to her, because of its handle, which is broad. Her palm rests on it, instead of fingers wrapping the usual more rounded handle. Thus, it felt like added support. 

She was told when she left rehab 4 years ago how important it is that the cane is fit properly by someone knowledgeable. She's convinced that's why some people who, don't stand up straight and walk properly with their cane, have problems.

As parents age, inevitable problems arise. Loss of almost all vision in R's left eye and macular degeneration in her other eye are her current concerns. Mobility isn't one of them thanks to her cane and a walker (next post).

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Aging Parents: 101-Year-Old, 4 Years After Broken Hip Surgery, Still Mobile and Living Alone–1

Four years ago this month R left the rehab center after spending 4 months there. Today, at 101, R is completely mobile. She now walks with a cane when she goes out (which she didn’t do before she broke her femur). She uses her cane at home when she “feels unsure.”

What has changed since R’s surgery?

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