Help! Aging Parents: growing old

Showing posts with label growing old. Show all posts

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Aging Parents and Us: Must Age, Health Decline, and Dependency go Hand in Hand?

Growing Older Doesn't Necessarily Mean Growing Old

We may question this assumption if we're in the midst of caring for aging parents with health issues. On the other hand, the results of research, published last month in the Journals of Gerontology, may be heartening for us if our parents are still relatively healthy and independent--and also heartening as we think about our years ahead.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

What Pope Benedict XVI (85) and Sr. Advisor R (99) Have in Common

...."The Pope is quitting. I want to quit," she continued. (Obviously she had already read the paper.) She went on saying something like "I understand his not having the energy for all the responsibilities.

"You know I've been feeling this way for some time now. I'm tired. I've done everything. Helped everyone I can help; given all I can give--financially not that much, but every bit counts-- to help people and the charities I know do good right here in town; and I just don't have the energy for the responsibilities any more."

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Hi, I'm Susan~

--Wife, teacher, counselor, author, and a far-away-living adult child for decades.

I came from the West to NY for the graduate program in counseling at Teachers College, Columbia U, and have stayed and worked in NY throughout my adult life.

Although far from family, I always knew I would "be there" if my parents needed me. Mother died just short of her 88th birthday; Dad died at 94, and most recently my-i-l, Sr. Advisor R--who lived alone (no caregivers) in her own home--died in June 2015 at 101.

Helping others comes naturally.

As a teenager I was a “Dear Abby” to my friends; later–as a teacher–an untrained counselor to my students. Graduate work and my counseling degree led to a career I’ve loved: counseling high school students and their families. This included–as divorce rates rose in the ’80’s–writing Helping Children of Divorce: a Handbook for Parents and Teachers, published by Schocken Books.

Help! Aging Parents is an extension of my ongoing desire to use my professional training and experience to help others.

About This Blog

Helping parents age well sounds so basic, but it doesn't happen automatically. While we train for the important parts of our lives (childbirth, driving, SATs, jobs), helping parents age well throughout the life cycle is usually on-the-job training--after a health event necessitates fast-forward learning.

Help! Aging Parents is committed to sharing the best information, professional advice, personal experiences and creative ideas to help parents and grandparents age as independently and well as possible until the very end.

* * *

As my parents aged I became aware of a sharp contrast: the ever-present enormous physical and emotional energy of my teenage counselees struggling to develop confidence, assert independence, increase relationships and have fun, while my parents' generation was trying desperately to hold onto these aspects of living.

This led to a disturbing realization: we conscientiously encourage and support younger people who have a full life ahead but--often unwittingly-- diminish and devalue older people. The implications: Younger people feel good about their ability to move forward, while older people can feel "what's the use, I'm old" leading to problems for them and for their children.

This is where we can--and do-- make a difference.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Aging Parents and Us: Must Age, Health Decline, and Dependency go Hand in Hand?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

What Pope Benedict XVI (85) and Sr. Advisor R (99) Have in Common

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