Lifting Aging Parents' Spirits in the Fall--6 Ideas

Fall foliage and Walkers in Central Park 2015

Do we notice mood changes in elders when less daylight makes days feel shorter? 

September 22nd. The beginning of Fall-- the Fall Equinox. Hours of daylight lessen. Days feel shorter. Darker days darken some people's mood. Clearly the elderly aren't immune and may be even more at risk if they live alone or are inclined to "see the glass half empty."

The idea of cozy, apple cider, pumpkin pie and beautiful fall foliage may be off their radar--replaced by gloom, doom, and loneliness as they contemplate--literally--darker days ahead

Adding some spirit-lifting ideas for this group has become tradition for Help! Aging Parents. But we're a bit earlier this year and why is that?

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UNDERSTANDING AGING PARENTS--ELDERS' TIPS TO COMBAT HOLIDAY LONELINESS

First posted in 2009--with variations each year

The words and melody from the radio filled my car. A winter wonderland was outside. Kids, amid shrieks of laughter and merriment, were sledding down the hill at the high school on anything large enough to sit on. I'm certain school vacation is adding to this happiest of times. 

My counseling background kicks in. I know that holidays aren't the happiest of times for many old people. So I decide to phone some elderly friends, simply to say "hello" and ask "how are you?"  

Let me share what I learned-- 

It's the happiest time of the year for children-- who have none of the responsibilities of adulthood. 

It's the happiest time when elders and younger family members can be together--feeling the warmth--sharing, and reminiscing. The excitement of the children and grandchildren provides a background of energy and optimism. 

 And yet-- "The holidays are a time when our mind drifts back to past Christmases that were happy times. It's a sentimental time," recalls one 80-year-old widow. "It's a wonderful time when families can get together, yet a lot of people are completely alone. As people get older, they have experienced losses. Especially for those who've lost their mates, other people's happiness can be a reminder of the losses we've incurred. We're just more vulnerable to that kind of thing when we get older."

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Gifting Easily-decorated Halloween Pumpkins with Flowers and Whimsey Lifts Spirits of Aging Parents and Care Center Elders

2015 Pumpkins for Elders 

Pumpkins with interesting stems and the potential for whimsey make uplifting October gifts. And once again they've been given to older people this past week, the oldest being 97-year-old J.

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Lifting Elder's Spirits--Lessenng Winter's Woes

Rid Aging Parents' Winter Woes and Doldrums

Entertaining elders and aging parents in winter can be problematical. Too many storms and chilling temperatures lead to winter doldrums, especially in parts of the US this year.

Understandably many older people hesitate to go out, except for necessities. Cabin fever. Grumpy dispositions. Inertia.

The antidote: Think spring and take elders to a flower show. Leave the cold and the reality of leafless trees and non-blooming plants and enter the sunshiny atmosphere and beauty of spring.

Image: Philadelphia Flower Show ~2013 
           (click to enlarge)

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Aging Parents: Practice What You Preach

1. “Keep in close contact with elders–aunts, uncles. Make sure they’re not forgotten.”
2. “A phone call is wonderful; it doesn’t have to be a visit.”

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These suggestions to lift elders’ spirits during the holidays, came from a small survey I took several years ago. Twice since I posted them last Saturday, their ability to raise people’s spirits and make them feel good has been proven–once for Sr. Advisor, R; once for the seniors who work on Help! Aging Parents.

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Aging Parents: Great Gifts on the Inside; Looking Great Outside Too

They say "It's what's inside that counts." No argument here. That said, doesn't anything that looks great on the outside raise our spirits...and those of our elders?

Two gift-giving holidays are fast-approaching. I think of the value of extra nicely wrapped gifts–where the initial fun is seeing them, followed by the joy of discovering what’s inside. 

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http://helpparentsagewell.com/2014/12/06/aging-parents-gifts-that-look-great/

Aging Parents: The Importance of Psychological Support from Adult Children

When people live alone (with a diminished social network and plenty of time to think), it’s easy to dwell on problems and become depressed. That’s when my counseling training automatically kicks in–
                                          Words and Listening

Really listening is a skill. We usually hear and respond in ways that seem appropriate and there’s nothing wrong with that.  But really listening can put us in the other person’s head and allows us to show understanding with a simple phrase (e.g. “it must be so hard,” “it sounds very frustrating”) –few words; no advice.

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Great Halloween Gift Ideas Roundup for Aging, Elderly, and Hospitalized Adults--Part I: Pumpkins~Decorated, Not Carved

       

When I lived near this farm stand I'd take pumpkins home and decorate--not carve--them on the kitchen counter....gifts for elderly friends at Halloween. However when we moved to the City, transporting them became a logistical challenge because cars in the City are basically an expensive nuisance. Thus, our car is in a garage in the suburbs. Last week I took the commuter train to the suburbs, got our car, then purchased the pumpkin, flowers etc. without knowing where I would assemble everything.

Decorating in the car would be a last resort, as there's no electrical outlet for the glue gun. Decision: this year's pumpkin--only one--would not require a glue gun, only the skewers to poke the holes. I forgot it last year and ended up using a fondue fork. It works too.

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Aging Parents: A Halloween Activity ~ in the City or the Suburbs.....planning ahead...

 

Who doesn't enjoy Halloween decorations! They're a treat for all ages and are becoming increasingly widespread. Indoors and out-of-doors these decorations are so much more elaborate than the orange, carved, candle-lit pumpkins--and perhaps a black cat or witch-- sitting on the front porches of our childhood. However.....

Are aging parents and older people getting out to see them? 

And--How can we make this happen?

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Aging Parents: Feel-Good Outing Ideas~ After A Long, Cold Winter

2013 Philadelphia Flower Show


Feel-Good Outings

Aging parents needn't be couch potatoes to feel depression or cabin fever due to a harsh winter. It's easy fo anyone! Cold, an absence of sunshne, and slippery sidwalks can make anyone feel cranky, if not depressed. "Trapped in the house," "Looking at the four walls." I've heard these expressions from elders.

And "cranky" may not go away easily. Negatives like a bad health diagnosis, another friend's problem, the world's problems, not to mention loss of a friend, pet, or part of a support system (dentist, hair dresser) add to being miserable.

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Aging Parents: It's the Haa, Haa-py-est Time of The Year?

© ElaineLeBerg

It's The Haa, Haa--py--est Time of The Year

The words and melody from the radio fill my car as I drive to the post office to mail the holiday cards. We have snow, it looks like a winter wonderland; and kids, amid shrieks of laughter and merriment, are sledding down our shared driveway on anything they can find that's large enough to sit on. Sun is 
shining, snow balls are flying, and I'm certain school vacation is adding to this happiest of times.

And then my counseling background kicks in and I remember that holidays aren't always the happiest of times for people. So I decide to check in with a few older people and see how they're doing. As a counselor, I'm trained to ask objective questions--not leading questions that will give me the answer I want (or think I want). That said, let me share my findings.

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