Help! Aging Parents

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Help Aging Parents: Including Older People With Health (and other isssues) at out Thanksgiving Dinner

Including Older People With Health (and other issues) At Our Thanksgiving Dinner

Just because some hosts are inclusive and others don't feel comfortable, doesn't make them bad (or good) people. For actual examples and rationales click my other site: http://helpparentsagewell.com/2012/11/13/help-aging-parents-lincluding-older-people-with-health-(and-other-issues)-at-our-Thanksgiving-Dinner/

Specific Thanksgiving Gifts Help Parents and Grandparents Age Well

When I think Thanksgiving, I think Family Togetherness and the many opportunities--gifts actually--to engage, stimulate, connect, enhance self-worth and share love.

3 Gifts, Incorporating the above in various ways

1. Being with family is what aging parents and grandparents say they want most. Stimulation and Connections top the list of factors that help people age well and doesn't being with family provide this?

Please visit my other site to see entire post: http://helpparentsagewell.com/2012/11/11/specific-thanksgiving-gifts-help-parents-and-grandparents-age-well

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Aging Parents and Politics

I want to share three true stories this election night….about old people and elections. Whether it’s the way we’re “wired’ or it’s acquired, let’s face it–old people who are engaged age better than those who aren’t.

To view this entire post, please visit my other site: http://helpparentsagewell.com/2012/11/06/aging-parents-and-politics/

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Hurricane Sandy's Aftermath: NYC 10/29--Is it Optimism, or Deni

Amid pictures of younger people wading through thigh-high waters, ruined homes, scattered belongings, heavy objects upended and strewn everywhere, another sobering scene: an elderly man, who had been trapped alone in his flooded home, now strapped to equipment that facilitated his being evacuated by rescuers to higher ground. Was he unaware? without working portable radio, cell phone or TV? physically unable to leave? Or could he just not bear to leave his home? The TV anchor reports a neighbor phoned to get him help. Evidently no family came to his aid. Looking out for our own aging family members isn’t enough, it seems. It clearly wouldn’t have been for this man.

To view entire blog link to:
http://helpparentsagewell.com/2012/11/03/hurricane-sandys-aftermath-nyc-1029-112-is-it-optimism-or-denial-or-stark-reality-that-motivates-us

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Halloween Treats (No Tricks) for Aging Parents, Grandparents—Us too!

Halloween decorations are becoming as widespread as the colorful trappings associated with the December holiday season. They’re very different than the orange, carved, candle-lit pumpkins–and perhaps a black cat or witch– sitting on the front porches of our childhood.

Isn’t this a perfect time to take older people out for a great change of scenery?

Aging plays so many unexpected tricks on older people. Isn’t is great when we can easily give them a treat!............

Please visit my other site:http://helpparentsagewell.com

or specifically for this post: http://wp.me/pGfkw-2v6 to view complete post and photos.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Walking With An Aging Parent: Do We Do It Right?

Do We Inadvertently Pull? Do We Make It Look Graceful?

When Mother was alive–after her stroke which did not affect mobility but did affect balance and confidence–it was important to me that she maintain her dignity when she depended on me for confidence to walk in public. Her fragile, osteoporosis-riden bones added to the problem. I’ve seen so many older people whose children were strong and well-meaning; yet the elders looked awkward–often off-balance when they walked together (Who knows how they felt.)

For a way of walking with older people that instills confidence, while giving them the opportunity to walk further and feel (and look) normal, please click my other site on WordPress: http://wp.me/pGfkw-2rI

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Aging Parents: Discouraged Caregiver-Children

Helping Aging Parents

How Often Do We Wonder If We Can Go On?

While trying to help parents age well we often find ourselves overworked, unappreciated, and physically exhausted. Sometimes it feels like we’re in a hole that’s too deep to climb out of. We question our efforts; we wonder if it’s worth it.

The statistics and information in Tuesday’s NY Times Science Section http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/21/the-high-cost-of-out-of-pocket-expenses/?ref=health should, at the least, make caregiver children realize that what they do out of love, caring, or duty has great value.

Please visit my other site at WordPress.com to view complete post: http://helpparentsagewell.com/2012/09/29/aging-parents-aging-discouraged-caregiver-children

Hi, I'm Susan~

--Wife, teacher, counselor, author, and a far-away-living adult child for decades.

I came from the West to NY for the graduate program in counseling at Teachers College, Columbia U, and have stayed and worked in NY throughout my adult life.

Although far from family, I always knew I would "be there" if my parents needed me. Mother died just short of her 88th birthday; Dad died at 94, and most recently my-i-l, Sr. Advisor R--who lived alone (no caregivers) in her own home--died in June 2015 at 101.

Helping others comes naturally.

As a teenager I was a “Dear Abby” to my friends; later–as a teacher–an untrained counselor to my students. Graduate work and my counseling degree led to a career I’ve loved: counseling high school students and their families. This included–as divorce rates rose in the ’80’s–writing Helping Children of Divorce: a Handbook for Parents and Teachers, published by Schocken Books.

Help! Aging Parents is an extension of my ongoing desire to use my professional training and experience to help others.

About This Blog

Helping parents age well sounds so basic, but it doesn't happen automatically. While we train for the important parts of our lives (childbirth, driving, SATs, jobs), helping parents age well throughout the life cycle is usually on-the-job training--after a health event necessitates fast-forward learning.

Help! Aging Parents is committed to sharing the best information, professional advice, personal experiences and creative ideas to help parents and grandparents age as independently and well as possible until the very end.

* * *

As my parents aged I became aware of a sharp contrast: the ever-present enormous physical and emotional energy of my teenage counselees struggling to develop confidence, assert independence, increase relationships and have fun, while my parents' generation was trying desperately to hold onto these aspects of living.

This led to a disturbing realization: we conscientiously encourage and support younger people who have a full life ahead but--often unwittingly-- diminish and devalue older people. The implications: Younger people feel good about their ability to move forward, while older people can feel "what's the use, I'm old" leading to problems for them and for their children.

This is where we can--and do-- make a difference.

Sunday, November 18, 2012